Ask Dog Lady
Bothered and Bewildered? If your Doggie Dilemma has you down in the dumps...
Dear Dog Lady:
My husband and I have been living together for over a year now. He has a huge Weimaraner, Jax, who has never quite warmed up to the idea that someone else is in "his" house. I have always been a little bit afraid of dogs, but I am terrified of this one. No matter how nice I try to be, I am always worried that he may turn on me. My husband went to bed before me last night, and when I tried to go through the living room (where the dog sleeps) to the bedroom, Jax got up and stood at the bedroom door of OUR bedroom barking and growling at me. I had to get my husband out of bed just so I could get in the room. The worst part, though, is that when this happened my husband actually got mad at me. He yelled at me for waking him up, got out of bed, went to the couch and sat there petting the "poor dog." I have always felt like the dog is more important to him than I am, but I feel like he really confirmed that last night. He tells me that I am just jealous.
Dog Lady, please help. I’ve never been a "dog person," so I don’t even know what to do to make this animal change. And I really don’t know what to do or how to feel about the way my husband acts about the situation. – Ashley, Toronto, ON
Ashley, Dog Lady believes Jax is a mother-in-law in wolf’s clothing. My teeth would chatter too if a scary, snarly Weimaraner barred the bedroom door. But my knees would be knocking even more if my human partner did not stand up for me. Shame on your husband for scolding you and petting the "poor dog." In this new marriage, the roles seem to be reversed-Jax is top dog, not Ashley.
Girl, sit your man down for a little heart-to-heart conversation. You have to tell your spouse exactly how you feel about Jax. Share your worries about the dog’s resentment of you and your feelings about dogs in general. You must clearly communicate without tears or fears. And, by the way, you should have bared your soul about this long before the wedding day.
Your husband must be sensitive to your concerns and understand he has the primary role in changing Jax’s behavior. He needs to put the dog in its place. It’s not your job.
Dear Dog Lady:
I recently got married and moved in with my husband and his mid-size dog (bigger than average). I’m not used to that environment, but I’m trying to adapt. There are a couple of things that aggravate me. First, if we are having a conversation and I start to laugh, the dog starts to bark. Secondly, if my husband tries to show me affection (kiss or hug), the dog starts to bark. Third, my husband doesn’t see a problem with the dog sleeping on the bed. I can’t stand it. I think it’s very unsanitary, although I allow her to get on the bed as long as there is a towel or something underneath her, but even that bothers me. I don’t know what to do. Please help. – Mariah, Seattle, WA
Mariah, geez, what is it with these meddling mother-in-law mutts? And why didn’t you discuss all these annoyances before the wedding day? Certainly, during your courtship, you should have noticed the dog barked when you kissed. This is a matter not between you and the dog, but between you and your new husband. So speak up. He’s the one who should be Alpha in this situation since he brought the pet into the marriage.
As much as Dog Lady loves a hairy canine butt in the bed, she is sensitive to the concerns of Mr. Dog Lady when he doesn’t want to deal with a woofer on the sheets. I introduced my dog into our relationship, so it’s my responsibility to take care of the details of dog bedroom behavior. Your husband should see this wisdom.
Dear Dog Lady:
I have three wonderful dogs, Samantha, Chu-Chu, and Oreo. But I have a friend, a policeman, who says dogs don’t love. He claims they are loyal but don’t know love. How can I prove him wrong? – Betty, Jacksonville, FL
Betty, oop, why bother convincing your cop pal about dog love? It’s an aimless exercise. You know the unconditional love your dogs give you, so it doesn’t matter what other people think. They will never understand the relationship as you do. Dog Lady can only guess this policeman "friend" may be trying to test you. After all, you have three dogs, which could be a little intimidating even to a big policeman if he’s trying to get to know Betty in a more intimate way. In all the bluster about whether or not dogs can love, he may be trying to send a message to take a chance on a knight with a nightstick. โ
When she’s not doting on her pet, Shorty, an independent, non-drooling West Highland White Terrier, Monica Collins (a.k.a. Dog Lady) loves thinking of creative ways for humans to deal with their canine darlings. Through her website, www.askdoglady.com, she hears from perplexed dog owners from all over the world. Visit www.askdoglady.com to ask a question, make a comment, or to read Dog Lady’s archives.
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