Caring for three kooky Corgis
Thank you so much for agreeing to take care of the dogs while I’m away. Even though some people claim Corgis are a “high-maintenance” breed, I think you’ll find my three to be delightful housemates with very few idiosyncrasies. Below are just a
few “house rules” you might want to review prior to your arrival.
Rule 1: Never mix up the food
Riley has a serious food allergy which requires him to adhere to a very strict diet. It’s critical the ONLY food he be allowed to eat is his “available-by-prescription-only, single-novel-protein-source” kibble that’s in a bag clearly labeled with his name. In the event Riley should eat something other than his special diet, you’ll need to rush him to the nearest veterinary hospital and have his stomach pumped (my “Dog Lover’s” VISA card and car keys are next to the phone).
It’s equally important to remember Zoey should NEVER be allowed to eat Riley’s food as it aggravates her acid-reflux disease (see more about this under “Rule 2” below). Rugby is allowed to eat whatever he wants, regardless of edibility or digestibility (see more about this under “Rule 3: Beware of Rugby psychoses).
The Corgis suffer from a few maladies that will require you to administer a variety of medications to them throughout the day. Please make sure Riley gets an antacid tablet each evening, exactly
30 minutes before you feed him his dinner. At that same time, you can give Zoey her acid-reflux preventative. Forgetting to give them their medications will likely result in both of them suffering from a series of violent projectile-vomiting episodes between the hours of two o’clock and four o’clock in the morning (the carpet cleaning machine and stocks of stain-removing solutions are all located in the basement closet).
If, despite giving Riley his antacid tablet, he still develops an upset stomach, you can give him a dose of anti-nausea medication.
The pills are stored in the bathroom and it’s worth noting one of the possible side effects listed on the bottle is “may cause unusual changes in thinking and/or behaviour.” I only mention this because the last time I gave him one of the pills he spent the rest of the evening “having relations” with several of his stuffed dog toys, a behaviour I would most definitely classify as atypical.
Rule 3: Beware of Rugby’s psychoses
Rugby gets antidepressant AND anti-anxiety medications; he’ll need one of each, twice a day. If he’s having a particularly bad day (and it’s quite obvious when that’s happening) feel free to give him an extra dose or two. In general, it’s a bad idea to leave Rugby alone in the house in an unmedicated state (the supplies to mend rips and tears in upholstery, linens, and leather are all upstairs).
Rule 4: Beware of the mailman (or other delivery personnel)
Around noon each day, you’ll experience what may initially feel like a moderate earthquake. The house will shake, the windows will rattle, and all three Corgis will begin hysterically leaping into the air, barking and flinging strings of viscous drool throughout the living room. This is perfectly normal behaviour—it simply signals the daily delivery of the mail. Expect the entire episode to last at least five minutes but certainly not longer than an hour. Mopping up the drool is completely optional but highly encouraged as it can create a
rather extreme slipping hazard (directions to the local urgent-care clinic are posted near the phone).
Rule 5: No flying insects or “mouth noises” allowed within the house
Rugby has an extreme fear of flying insects—if you find him cowering and shaking uncontrollably in the corner of a room, you’ll need to locate the: (a) fly (b) moth, or (c) bee that is buzzing around the house. Rugby will be unable to relax until you’ve (a) found the offending insect (b) dispatched of said insect, and (c) shown him the lifeless body of the bug.
Likewise, you should be aware of Riley’s extreme sensitivity to any type of “mouth noise.” Sneezing, coughing, and any sort of chortling or snorting are all considered “mouth noises” in Riley’s mind. Puckering is to be avoided AT ALL COST. Past consequences
of careless petsitter puckering performed in close proximity to Riley have included both a lip piercing and a ruptured eardrum.
I guess that’s about it—I’m sure you won’t have any problems as long as you follow these common-sense rules. Have a great time with the dogs and thanks again!