Dog Life

If you want to cause a commotion in any psychology department or any other place where animal and human behaviour is studied, all that you have to do is to claim that your dog loves you. Skeptics, critics, and even some ardent supporters will pour out into the halls to argue the pros and cons of that statement.

Many of the uninitiated scoff at the thought of dancing with dogs and yes, there is undeniably an element of the ridiculous to the sport, what with the inter-species dance team, tux-and-tailstype matching outfits and song choices like "Putting on the Ritz," but, as any attendee will attest, there is something both compelling and strangely moving about the performances-not to mention supremely entertaining.

Let's face it, modern dog owners are just as guilty as first-time parents when it comes to rambling on and on about their "kids." And while a good poop horror story makes for conversational common ground at any canine-centric soiree, why not show your range? The following cocktail party cheat-sheet highlights dogs that have made a significant impact on our common culture. A few minutes studying this list and you'll soon prove that it's possible to impress even the finest pedigreed pooch (and his/her sexy owner) with your best trick: speak!

Dog Weddings

Picture it. The rolling lawns of a Beverly Hills estate in California decked with tables for a posh afternoon English tea party. Chilled champagne with a plump strawberry is the drink du jour and the sounds of social chitchat and laughter are offset by a string quartet providing background mood music. Suddenly, a red convertible zooms up the driveway and out jumps a boisterous Golden Retriever barking madly. He rushes to the nearest white Iceberg rose bush and lifts his leg, narrowly missing the cellist. His pet parent, after handing her car keys to the valet, ambles over, pats her pup on the head and tells him to "go play" before heading off to greet her hostess and mingle with the other guests.

Family dynamics today are more complex than just Mom plus Dad plus two children. Many people are divorced or opt for a single lifestyle. Others remain childless, by chance or by choice. It is a lifestyle that makes close family relationships the exception rather than the norm. Into this void step our dogs, ready and willing to accept all offers of adoration and spoiling. More than simply companions, dogs are considered children in many households. So it follows that a fur kid's family tree branches out to include aunties, uncles, cousins, and, of course, the ultimate dispenser of spoiled affection-grandparents.

Most people are interested in how intelligent their dog is. While there are predictable differences based upon the dog's breed (for example, Border Collies are a lot smarter and more trainable than Bulldogs), there is a lot of variability within each breed. This means that some Border Collies might be rather slow-thinking, while some Bulldogs might be college material. There are some well-documented tests for the general mental abilities of dogs (such as the one described in my book, The Intelligence of Dogs), and all such tests include measures of a dog's memory.

Water cooler conversation is changing these days. "Rex's breath reeks of liver." "I know, he's so delicious. But could he have his head any further up Buster's butt? I mean, come on!" "Now, now, don't get your hackles up. He's just bucking for a promotion to top dog." First they were pets. Then they were family members. Now they're becoming colleagues. Dogs in the workplace are an increasingly common phenomenon. As dog lovers, we welcome this advance. But does your pet really belong in the office? With a little planning, a good portion of common sense, and sensitivity to your colleagues, the answer is a resounding "Yes!"

AFEW SECONDS WAS ALL IT TOOK FOR CHIHUAHUA PUP LUPÉ TO SLIP OUT THE DOOR AND INTO THE hands of an opportunistic thief. She was at work in Vancouver with owner Emily Olmstead when the door was accidentally left ajar. Despite Emily's swift action to find her, Lupé's whereabouts are still a mystery.

Apartment's too small? Boyfriend's allergic? Perhaps just not down with de-pooping the backyard? Whatever the reason, if you or someone you know is simply not ready to become a full-time dog parent, peruse the following list of alternatives for people looking to cram some dog-time into an otherwise (sniff) dogless existence.