Is My Dog an Alcoholic?

Ask Dr Ian Dunbar

Q: When I have a party, my dog, Top Jaw,
tries to knock beer out of guests’ hands and then drink it. Is my dog
an alcoholic or just a bad host? -Todd, Wenatchee, WA

A: LAST
YEAR, I WAS RELAXING ON THE COUCH WITH MY DOGS AND holding a glass of
Cabernet in my right hand and my wife said, "You had better move that
or Ollie might bump it." So, I transferred the glass to my left hand,
whereupon Oso lifted his head and gave the glass a resounding nose
prod. The glass shot into the air and landed upside down in my lap. I
didn’t give Oso the chance to reward himself by lapping lap-pooled
alcoholic libations. Instead I immediately told him, "Outside!" His
rude and clumsy behaviour just lost him couch and living room
privileges. After a couple of minutes, I invited him back onto the
couch. He has never done it again.

It is unlikely that Top Jaw is
an alcoholic. Moreover, questioning his drinking habits is not really
the issue. Instead, I would focus on his annoying behaviour and teach
him to be a mannerly and welcoming host. Top Jaw need not sign up for
AA, instead he needs to sign up for UUA-Unruly & Untrained
Anonymous.

Top Jaw desperately needs to be taught a little
hosting etiquette. Luckily the solution to your problem is a
no-brainer. To teach him to mind his manners, you have several options.
When you have guests, put Top Jaw in another room with a party
Kongsicle for entertainment (stuff his Kong with his dinner-moistened
kibble or raw diet- and freeze it). If you would like Top Jaw in the
party room, he may enjoy his Kong in his crate or on his dog bed. Tie
the stuffed Kong to an eyehook in the baseboard, so that Top Jaw cannot
remove it from his bed, and tie his leash to the eye-hook so that Top
Jaw cannot leave his bed. Alternatively, you can teach him to stay on
his bed. Practice this each evening, so that he is trained before your
next party. Periodically praise him and offer the occasional treat
while he remains on his bed. Each time he tries to leave, softly but
insistently keep repeating, "Top Jaw, go to your bed…go to your
bed…" until he goes back to his bed again. Praise him when he lies
down again.

Make sure that you coach Top Jaw when it is time to
meet the guests. Also make sure you coach your guests to insist that
Top Jaw always sits when saying hello. (There are a good hundred things
that a dog cannot do if he is sitting.) But, if he ever tries to
forcibly scrounge a beer at future parties, immediately banish him from
the bar. ■

Dr. Ian Dunbar is a veterinarian, animal behaviourist,
and dog trainer. He has written numerous books and videos and hosted
his own television series about dog behaviour and training. Dr. Dunbar
met the love of his life in November 97, when teaching a "Sex and
Aggression" seminar at the Association of Pet Dog Trainers annual
Conference in Memphis, Tennessee.